How to Stop Your Wedding Speeches Going On Too Long

How to Stop Your Wedding Speeches Going On Too Long


The speeches can be one of the most loaded moments of any wedding day. The pressure on speakers is immense: words have to be sweet, funny, appropriate and most importantly – no rambling. And with the crowd playing games like wedding speech Bingo, taking bets on how long the speeches will take, and inevitably judging whether or not they were any good, it’s a lot! Especially for anyone who isn’t used to, or doesn’t like, public speaking. However, the speeches also offer up very special moments, which is why we love them so much. But we also know that a little planning and coaching goes a long way to ensuring they nip along at just the right pace. Read on for our tips on how to stop your wedding speeches (and speakers!) going on for too long.

Photo by Paul McGinty Via One Fab Day

Before Your Wedding Day

Tell them how long the speech should be. You’ve decided who will be making a speech at your wedding, and in what order (we have a great post on that here!). But don’t just leave your speakers to it. Give them a time limit, based on how long you want the speeches to go on for.

Practice it out loud, and time it. The biggest mistake made when giving a speech is not giving it a proper, timed run through. People tend to underestimate how long it takes to say something out loud, versus how long it takes to read it in your head.

Read it for someone. If edits need to be made to tighten the timing, it’s easier for an independent observer to advise as to what should be cut.

Add contingency time. Nerves, tears, tangents and hopefully, pausing for a few laughs and cheers, can add precious minutes to a speech, and should be factored in.

Send them this reading list:

Photo by The Lous via One Fab Day

The Speech Intervention Equation

If you know that one of your speakers is prone to rambling (we’ve heard of speeches going on for 40+ minutes!), present them with an equation that proves just how precious every spare minute is on your wedding day. Do they want to steal precious minutes from you? We certainly hope not! Firstly, explain that there’s an order of the day to stick to, so that the venue and suppliers like your entertainers or the band can do their thing. Secondly (and here’s where you hit them with the cold, hard facts), you also want to have time to spend with each of your guests. So they need to understand that the longer they speak over time, the less time you have with your guests. Here is the formula (just insert your own number of guests into the equation):

150 guests x 5mins each guest = 12.5 hours to talk to every guest (!)

Photo by Moat Hill Photography via One Fab Day

Shake up the Speeches Format

Change up Where

Traditionally, wedding speeches are delivered from the top table at the reception dinner, but in theory, you could have them anywhere you like! The stairs of a castle or country house venue work particularly well, and outdoor speeches are pretty magical on a summer’s day, too. But if people are standing or outside, the speaker should understand that they need to keep proceedings short. You’ll just need to check with your venue that it’s possible to set up the PA system and microphone in your desired location. If you’re having a small wedding of 50 people or less, you may not need one, but again, your venue will be able to advise you.

Photo by Dasha Caffrey Photography via One Fab Day

Change up When

Having the wedding speeches at the drinks reception has become very popular. This is because people can get it out of the way earlier if they’re nervous, and usually only have one glass of bubbles in them. It’s also usually a more informal, standing setting which tends to speed things up.

Photo by DK Photo via One Fab Day

Change up How

Another great idea, which we have seen in work really well in practice are having “open mic” speeches. Firstly, nominate an MC – perhaps the Best Man or Maid of Honour, who will invite anyone who wants to, to say a few words within a time limit – we suggest three minutes max. To keep proceedings on track, get the MC to set a timer on their phone and use a bell or horn when the time is up. The mic should go to the usual suspects first, the Father of the Bride, the groom, the bride, etc, before opening it up to the floor!

Photo by Studio Brown via One Fab Day

Brief Your MC

If you’re sticking to the traditional format of having your wedding speeches during or after dinner, then have a chat with your MC about how you can keep proceedings to your timeline. The best way to do this is to have them make a joke about it in their intro, and tell the rest of the speakers that just like the Oscars, the music will start playing if they run over time. Even if you aren’t doing the open mic format, they can still use a bell or something similar to tell speakers they’ve run over time.

We have lots of great wedding speech ideas from the Groom’s Wedding Speech Checklist to 9 Ways to Shake Up Your Wedding Speeches, and be sure to hit follow on Instagram for more great tips!



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